You Know You're Over the Hill When

• You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.


• You’re sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.


• Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.


• You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.


• You tune into the easy listening station…on purpose.


• You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large ….In that order.


• You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Kumbaya.


• Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.


• You start video taping daytime game shows.


• At the airport, they ask to check your bags…and you’re not carrying any luggage.


• You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.


• Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar…a month at a time.


• At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.


• Your new easy chair has more options than your car.


• When you do the “Hokey Pokey” you put your left hip out… and it stays out.


• One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.


• Conversations with people your own age often turn into “duelling ailments.”


• It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.


• You discover the words, “whippersnapper”, “scallywag” and “by-crikey” creeping into your vocabulary.


• You’re on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.


• You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”


• You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.


• You look both ways before crossing a room.


• Your social security number only has three digits.


• You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.


• People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”


• You go to a Garden Party and you’re mainly interested in the garden.


• You find your mouth making promises your body can’t keep.


• The waiter asks how you’d like your steak…and you say “pureed.”


• At parties you attend, “regularity” is considered the topic of choice.


• You start beating everyone else at trivia games.


• You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.


• Your back goes out more than you do.


• Cafeteria food starts tasting GOOD.


• You refer to your $2500 stereo system as “The Hi-Fi.”


• You make it a point to attend all the RV shows that come to town.


• You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.


• Your childhood toys are now in a museum.


• Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.


• The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style… come back in style.


• All of your favorite movies are now revised in color.


• The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.


• You have more hair in your ears and nose than your head.


• You wear black socks with sandals.


• You take a metal detector to the beach.

You Know You're Over the Hill When